


losing him was blue (like i'd never known)

by figure8



Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: Angst, Introspection, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-01-07
Updated: 2013-01-07
Packaged: 2017-11-24 02:10:12
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 436
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/629149
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/figure8/pseuds/figure8
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>He knows he's dying because it doesn't hurt. <em>It doesn't hurt anymore</em></p><p>“You bastard!” Stiles shouts, and he's too far gone to understand what's going on, to whom he's talking, so he just focuses on the familiar voice. “You don't get to take this away from me, you just- fuck, you don't, you just don't, don't you fucking die, Derek, I swear, don't you <em>fucking die</em>.”</p>
            </blockquote>





	losing him was blue (like i'd never known)

**Author's Note:**

> All mistakes (and horrible english) are mine. I don't even know how I ended up writing this and I'm so so sorry. Title from Red by Taylor Swift, obviously.

He always thought it would hurt. Dying. He always thought it would be agony and the horrible smell of wolfsbane and fire and _pain_. He deserves it. He even wanted it. Before... Before. Before all that. This enormous mess and Scott and Peter and his pack and his responsibilities and _Stiles_. He can't afford to feel suicidal anymore. Once again, he has things to lose. He's something to people again.

It doesn't, though. It doesn't hurt. Not really. He mostly feels numb. Sore. There was a quick flash of sharp and acid pain when the arrow pierced his chest, but it faded away so rapidly it's just a distant memory now.

But he's dying.

He knows he's dying because he can't move, he can't breathe, he can't feel his pack. He knows he's dying because the poison's in his veins, so close to his heart, he knows he'll only get some minutes. He knows he's dying because it doesn't hurt. _It doesn't hurt anymore_.

Then he hears him and something forces him to gather his last remains of strength and open his eyes. He'll always open his eyes for him. He'll do anything.

“No, no, no, nononononono!” Stiles screams. “Derek! Derek, no!”

His vision is blurred, shaky, but he can still see shapes and movement. Scott wrapping his arms around his best friend, keeping him away, keeping him _safe_ , and Derek is proud. Derek is _grateful_.

He wants to be able to speak. He wants to whisper I love you and Don't fight for me and Be safe and I love you, I love you, damn, I just love you but he can't.

“You bastard!” Stiles shouts, and he's too far gone to understand what's going on, to whom he's talking, so he just focuses on the familiar voice. “You don't get to take this away from me, you just- fuck, you don't, you just don't, don't you fucking die, Derek, I swear, don't you _fucking die_.” He lets out a broken sob.

But I don't know where I am, Derek thinks. I don't know where I'm going. And he feels so weak, so _gone_ , even the instinct to protect can't bring him back. He's tired, oh so tired, and maybe he can rest a bit, just for once, maybe they won't get mad if he drops the act for a while, if he just sleeps, if he just _goes_.

He closes his eyes as he hears Stiles falling on his knees next to him _(Derek, wake up, come on, wake up, WAKE UP)_  and the last thing that crosses his mind is _I was lucky_.

**Author's Note:**

> Kudos and comments are love and they light up my life, okay, you don't even know. So this is a massive thank you to everyone who left something on my other works.


End file.
